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An Essay on “Unconditional” Love
The only time I ever doubted God’s love was during church.
After years of struggling to accept who I was and hiding every dark corner of my being to conform to the idea of a “perfect Christian,” I doubted God’s love at the very place that taught it.
The preacher was speaking about how God can pick and choose who to love. That someone can live a life with positive intentions and good morals, and yet God may not love them. The part of me that struggles with depression pricked up and said: See, nothing matters. God doesn’t love you.
This feeling of being an outsider grew, morphing into the only demon I ever believed in… the insecurity that the same Being that made me hates me for how I was made.
Which, in hindsight, makes no sense.
The only time I ever felt separated from God was during these sermons, surrounded by others who were also desperate for the loving warmth that church promises to give. Where people sit and starve for that moment of clarity that God does love us.
There’s no hate like Christian love.
It’s something we’ve all probably heard before. Growing up in Texas, a Bible Belt state, it rings true. There are protestors on the sides of the roads promoting hate and…
